From The Complete Moron’s Guide to Starting a Boutique Winery for Dummies (2007)Cover   |   1   |   2   |   3   |   4   |   5   |   6   |   7


Any savvy businessman knows that the success of your business depends on image, not the quality of your product. Therefore: lots of caps, T-shirts, fleece and engraved wine glasses with your logo. Key chains are particularly catchy items as they promote drinking and driving.

Scarcity Angle: small lots (such as a half barrel of nebbiolo) are great for creating perceived exclusivity. Put it in an etched bottle and declare it to be “Coeur du Barrique.”

Hey!  These are some wise words!
“We tasted from several different regions within the same barrel in order to select this wine” John Paul, Newsletter, Fall 2007.

Look out! This is a warning!Reviews, Reviews, Reviews: Do Not send a bottle off your bottling line for review; in fact, don’t send a bottle of your own wine. Rather purchase a recipient of a high score, decant it into one of your bottles and then send it to your favorite publication. These are known as “WMD’s” (Wines of Mass Deception).

Zoinks! This is a quote, which therefore must be true!
“Only an amateur would send their own wine to a critic and leave it up to chance … get your head in the game!” Hans Brix, WMD Inspector, Cameron Newsletter, Fall 2007.

Blind Tastings (hint: not so blind) Pick your tasters carefully (e.g. paid employees whose livelihood depends on the financial success of your winery; or first year culinary students who know nothing about wine). Make sure that your winemaker is part of the group, can pick out his own wines and is adept at influencing the other tasters. Be sure to include several very expensive European wines in the tasting.

A great tactic for survival is to let your customers underwrite your risk, especially if you can get them to pony up before they even know what the wine is going to taste like (sic).

Look out! Here come some words!
“Remember that the difference between “swill” and “swell” is ‘i’.” Richard Gehrts, Red Hills Revolutionary Workshop, Summer 2007.

Journey back in time with us and browse the last 20 or so years of mailers, newsletters, and video.

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Recent Newsletters

Cameron Swimsuit Issue! (2023)

Last summer, I received a call from Sports Inebriated Magazine, and now histoire has been made …

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Cameron makes it big (2021)

[our November 2021 e-newsletter]

Dear Cameron Winery Enthusiast,

You know how important marketing is to a winery. We certainly do, as you can tell from the flood of one newsletter we create every year (psst: […]

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The Cave of Fermented Dreams (2019)

In a not-so-remote valley in Northern Oregon, four intrepid explorers discovered a hidden treasure…

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