From Chateau Y’Chem (1994)Cover | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
Ask Dr. Cameron
Dear Dr. Cameron: Why can one find “Burgundy” in the Random House Dictionary concise edition while “Bordeaux,” which ought to appear between Borax and Bordello, is nowhere to be found?
Perplexed in Portland
Dear Perplexed: The word “concise” implies the stating of much in few words. Obviously the editor of your dictionary didn’t have anything to say about Bordeaux. I note that in my more complete Simon & Schuster New World Dictionary, ‘Bordeaux” is briefly mentioned, though immediately after a more lengthy definition of “Borborvgmus” (a rumbling sound made by gas in the intestines). In short, how the hell should I know?
Dear Dr. Cameron: We’ve heard that air is the enemy of wine which is why “bag in the box” is such a wonderful thing to do for wine. My spouse recently bought some very distinctive California wine packaged in this manner. Why doesn’t Cameron put their wine in a bag in the box?
KINK Listener
Dear KINK Listener: Just as Serbia is not necessarily the enemy of Bosnia, so air is not necessarily the enemy of wine. While a lot of air can injure the wine, small quantifies are actually beneficial. We suggest that the next time your spouse buys a bag of wine in the box, try a little experiment. Decant part of ‘the wine into a carafe, keep the rest in the bag. After a day, compare the two wines. Which is more alive? When the bag is empty, put it over your spouse’s head. After a day, compare yourself to him (her): Who is more alive? Isn’t science fun?
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