Cameron Winery -- sustainably farmed, non-irrigated, Oregon pinot noir and chardonnay

In response to reader demand we present a new column for your personal edification. In this issue we cover a host of technical terms often tossed around indiscriminately by winemakers. If you get stuck, just ask Dr. Cameron-he has a PhD in science!

DROSOPHILA MELANOGASTER

A) Greek porn queen
B) Serious stomach ailment
C) Name of a new California winery
D) Fruit fly

ENDPOINT

A) Military academv for dropouts
B) Household appliance
C) When the color turns to … uh, oh

TOTAL ACIDITY

A) Modern teen expression as in ‘Totally acid, man!”
B) Rainfall in Eastern Canada
C) The total acid content of a solution (e.g., wine), normally measured by titration with standard sodium hydroxide.
D) Heavy-metal group

BEEF HEART

A) Must pump for cows
B) Flatulence in winged honey-making insect
C) Warm-up singer for Meatloaf

SLURRY

A) Speech defect
B) Horse-drawn carriage with fringe on top
C) Thin mixture of water and insoluble material such asbentonite or diatomaceous earth.

TITROMETER

A) Rapidly revolving breasts
B) A machine used to per-form titrations
C) A machine used to measure laughter

FRENCH PARADOX

A) Marie and Pierre Curie
B) The Concorde
C) Well-mannered Parisian
D) Marketing scam to sell more red wine

SEND YOUR IDEAS TO.-

The Cunning Unguist,
C/O Cameron Winery,
P.O. Box 27,
Dundee, OR 97115.