Cameron Winery -- sustainably farmed, non-irrigated, Oregon pinot noir and chardonnay

Metric tons of cork produced annually in County Cork, Ireland : 0

Cost of a serving of foie gras at Tina’s in Dundee : $12.50

Cost of a serving of gizzards in Newberg : $1.99

Cost to Cameron for a Federal license to produce wine as a percent of the cost to Gallo : 50

Amount of wine produced by Cameron, as a percent of that vinted by Gallo : 0.000023

Percentage of Congressmen who believe that we compete on a level field : 55

Average price of a French oak barrel in 1984 : $250

In 1995 : $625

Size of an espresso in Milan : 1/2 ounce

In Sherwood, Oregon : 12 ounce

Number of Oregon vineyardists in Tehran during the hostage crisis : 2

Percentage of OLCC employees with a pension plan : 100

Percentage of Oregon winery employees with a pension plan : 25

Ratio of the price of an ounce of gold to an ounce of Clos Electrique : 350 / 1

Number of different types of firearms for sale in Newberg : 400

Number of different types of cheeses : 12

Number of functioning, privately owned military tanks in Yamhill County : 1

Odds that a gov’t wine inspector is also familiar with anti-tank guns, in the US : 1 in 3

In France: 1 in 400

Percentage of BATF agents who say they would rather inspect alcohol than firearms : 112

Cost of an Amos grape destemmer : $ 11,000

Avg. annual number of hours it is used at Cameron : 24

Cost of a Health Dept. permit to serve hard cheese at a winery : $0

To serve soft cheese : $105

Percent chance that you’ll have an orgasm after drinking Cameron wine : 95

Percent chance you’ll be with a partner when the above happens : 50

Legal age in Oregon for a person to sell/serve liquor at a restaurant-lounge : 18

Legal age in Oregon for a person to work in a winery : 21

Percentage of wineries in Oregon who pay attention to this law : 5

Pounds of grapes that can be picked by a Hispanic worker in one day : 2,400

By a Gringo : 850

Luncheon noise level, in decibels, at Tina’s restaurant in Dundee on Wednesday : 94

Any other day of the week : 73

Rank of Wednesday as the favorite day for local winegrowers to meet in Dundee for lunch: 1

Number of times Bob Packwood has gotten grabby after drinking California Cabernet : 24

Number of times after drinking Cameron Pinot noir : 0

Number of Cameron’s Index items proposed by irresponsible friends which we did not use due to possible liability problems : 22

Figures cited are the latest available as of May 1995.

Any questions on the accuracy of the above information should be forwarded to the offices of Consolidated Screw & Bolt, P.O. Box 371, Dundee, Oregon 97115.

Please enclose $10 for beer and return postage. If female, we encourage you to also include a swimsuit photo to qualify for a position on the Cameron Vintage ’95 Swim Team.

(Sorry, photos become property of the Cameron winecellar staff and their friends and cannot be returned)