Why Donald Trump Hates Oregon Pinot noir

From John, January 4th, 2016

It has come to our attention than Donald Trump vociferously denounced Oregon Pinot noir at a recent campaign rally.  We sent our team of crack reporters out to garner the details.

The feminine qualities of many Pinot noirs such as Abbey Ridge sent him into a rage but when he heard that possibly immigrant workers  had actually touched the fruit, Donald started retching uncontrollably.  Add to that the fact that many of these wines are aged in French oak and you have generated an epic diatribe.

When our team attempted to ascertain what The Donald actually liked, they were informed that he didn’t drink, but if he did “the grapes must be machine harvested and the wine would definitely need to be aged in American oak”.   A new campaign slogan may be taking shape as well, apparently along the lines of “Make Merlot a Grape Again!”.

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